not going to australia has come at an immensely huge expensive cost.
in time to come perhaps i will accept the reality that it was my own actions that brought about this huge degredation
but right now the only thought swirling in my head is how that if i had accepted to place to macquarrie i wouldnt be faced with the shitty grades that are staring me right in the eye
it appears highly probable that i will be made to drop my second major
and to hold in my hand a second upper seems but a distant dream that is not about to become reality

it seems an every greater mockery that the usually nonchalant me actually made the effort to pour dilligently over my books and attempt to get serious studying done.

this has really been too great a price to pay

i hate the hand that i have been dealt.
lord i am sorry but i do.